How to be polite in Spain

Every culture has its differences when it comes to being polite and general etiquette. In this article we give you some basic guidelines as to how you should treat others and can expect to be treated.

Have you ever been surprised by the abruptness of a phone call greeting or equally impressed by the politeness of the person on the street? Spanish people are no less or more polite than their neighbours – there are just ‘differences’.

Difference One – proximity

Most people visiting or living in Spain are aware of the two cheeks (dos besos) kiss that is common on first greeting someone.  It is usually between men and women or women and women, with men often shaking hands with each other.

Spanish people can also appear to be ‘closer’ in other ways. It is not uncommon for them to pick a beach spot that is relatively nearby. You will hear foreigners complaining: ‘the beach was deserted but they came and put their brolly down right next to ours!’ What can we say? Feel proud that they don’t want to keep their distance!

Difference Two – the phone call

Politeness when it comes to phone calls is changing for all of us. As I child I was instructed to answer the phone with ‘Hello, this is 832134 and my name is…’ Now we are all much more reserved and aware that the person calling us may not be someone we want to speak to.

The Spanish have perhaps been good at this for a while and you will hear them say ‘Dígame’ on answering a phone call. This basically means ‘talk to me’ – and is considered to be polite. An economic choice of phrase that is very functional and appropriate these days.

Difference Three – everyday greeting

To the Spanish, foreigners can seem very impolite. It is customary for a Spanish person on entering a room to greet those there with a ‘Buenas’ this covers any time of day, more or less, and is a common and polite gesture that other countries are not always familiar with. It is a rather pleasant custom, try it and it will be appreciated. 

Difference Four – please and thank you!

Spanish people can be surprised by the frequency with which foreigners say ‘thank you’. ‘Gracias’ is not necessary every time the waiter brings you something. Por favor can also be overused in everyday transactions.

Of course, if you are familiarising yourself with the language then you will know that in Spanish there is the formal ‘usted’ (singular) and ‘ustedes’ (plural) for ‘you’ and the informal ‘tú’ (singular) and ‘vosotros’ (plural) when you are speaking to someone you know well or a child. There are circumstances where following this rule is important. For example, when dealing with officials.

Difference Five – more direct

People from Northern European countries tend to be more private and less open about many aspects of their lives. Spanish people generally are more direct both in their questions and observations. Don’t be surprised if you are asked about your income or your Spanish friend comments on you looking tired. It is much more accepted to discuss these subjects (and others!) openly.

Difference Six – time keeping

Most people are aware that the Spanish timetable works slightly differently to that of some other countries. It is fair to say that there is a more ‘relaxed’ approach to meeting times and you can expect a Spanish friend to perhaps turn up a good fifteen or even thirty minutes after the prescribed time.

Don’t become too relaxed, however. In a business setting it is usually still expected that meetings start more or less on time and you will have to learn to judge for yourself what rules apply. Turning up on time initially and then adjusting with familiarity, is a good way to go.

Difference Seven – queuing 

‘Hacer la cola’ is the phrase that means to queue. In common with most countries, the Spanish are not particularly fond of waiting in line for long periods of time. However, they are used to having to wait around. With so many administrative burdens and lengthy bureaucratic processes, waiting for your turn is a feature of Spanish life. But it might not look like the type of queuing you are used to.

The Spanish queue, but in a slightly different way. In many places the queue is organised by number and you have to take your ticket and wait. This is a common feature of customer service points in major shops, government departments and the post office.

Alternatively, if there is no queuing system (and it’s always wise to check first) in place then you can ask ‘Quién va el último?’ (who’s last?) Someone should, hopefully answer – ‘Yo!’ (me) and then you keep your eye on this person and follow them to the counter after their turn. Be ready to answer ‘Yo’ if someone poses the same question and you are last!

This is, in fact, a very simple way of queuing that means you can then sit down somewhere or walk around without having to stick to the one spot and edge your way forward. For those coming into the scene of relaxed groups and comings and goings it can seem like the opposite to queuing, but the line, albeit a squiggly one, is there.